No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
