would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize