The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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