I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm sobbing to NWA
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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