You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I pour the whiskey from now on
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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