Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Randomize
