I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
