My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize
