Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
