were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
