Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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