Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
