He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
