I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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