There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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