You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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