Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Sorry about my life...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
