Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
