I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Another day, another engagement, another cat
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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