That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
