Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he thought i was a dude.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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