Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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