NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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