What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
