Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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