your thong is hanging out like whoa
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We have started to decorate penises.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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