I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
