Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(985): View more from Louisiana

If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.

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(954): View more from Florida

just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything

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(845): View more from New York

I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring

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(415): View more from California

I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?

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(310): View more from California

I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him

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(919): View more from North Carolina

The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.

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(303): View more from Colorado

He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.

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(847): View more from Illinois

last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.

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