11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
