Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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