we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
how drunk are you?
Several
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
