I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
