hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Boobs speak an international language.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
