I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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