she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
