I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
