Cold hands, warm shart.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
