Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
