dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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