I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
