I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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