YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
