like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
dude i'm inner monologue high
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
