you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
