OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
