youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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