I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
