my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
