Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
