She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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